I love writing these life lesson columns.
But not this one, because I feel guilty and it’s more therapy/ a commitment to do something.
Today, I laughed at someone’s pain.
Please don’t get me wrong: I love the TV show America’s Funniest Videos back in the early 2000’s. I love fail compilation videos. I’ll laugh at a family member or close friend on occasion if they hurt themselves really stupidly.
But what I did today? That wasn’t any of that.
My brother and I watched a video of someone I know (not personally). They were in a lot of pain.
And I laughed at them.
They had gone through some tough times, so they were hurting both physically and emotionally.
I knew this, yet I smiled.
THERE WAS NOTHING FUNNY WITH THE VIDEO.
NOTHING. AT. ALL.
I disliked the person so much that I enjoyed seeing them hurt.
Dude, this guy- a really tough guy- was in so much pain he was CRYING.
How could I enjoy that?
Everyone thinks I am nice person.
I feel terrible. I am terrible. What I did was terrible.
My brother looked at me and said, “You’re laughing. That’s so wrong.”
I smiled more.
I realize I’m not perfect, and I make mistakes, but
I feel absolutely terrible for laughing. I mean, I have always had a dark/twisted sense of humor, but this went beyond.
Because you know what? It wasn’t my taste in humor that made me laugh.
It wasn’t a loud laugh. It wasn’t a long laugh. It wasn’t a happy laugh. It was a bitter laugh.
IT WAS A STUPID THING TO DO.
But what do I do?
Do I let it sit over my head forever and convince myself that I am the worst person ever?
Do I simply shrug it off because I feel guilty already, so that’s enough?
Do I just blog about it?
No, but it gives me more of a commitment and maybe this post can help someone else.
So what do I do?
- I need to ask God for forgiveness and ask Him to help me with all the bitterness I have towards this person. This is THE most important step. You don’t do it, nothing happens. It’s perhaps the easiest step.
- If possible (In the case above it’s not as I don’t personally know the person, but I have another case I should deal with too), ask the person for forgiveness and explain to them the situation. Try to work things out.
- Pray. It’s always helpful and will NEVER hurt.
#1: When you ask God for forgiveness, He will give you peace.
27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart! And the peace I give isn’t fragile like the peace the world gives. So don’t be troubled or afraid.[a]- John 14:27 (The Living Bible)
And right now, some peace would be wonderful to me, since I feel so guilty.
#2: I can’t ask for the person I laughed at for forgiveness, because as I said, I don’t know them personally. But there are SOOOOO many other people I could and should ask for forgiveness. I’m a naturally angry/aggressive person that holds A LOT of grudges, so I have a lot bitterness that I deal with. And I can be bitter about the stupidest things. Seriously. I think I’m still mad at my grandfather for eating my vanilla ice cream when I was 3.
It’s stupid how much bitterness I have.. I really just need to toughen up, stop being offended, and ask for forgiveness.
3: Praying is so simple. It’s amazing.
But it’s nothing unless you mean it.
So my resolution tonight is to a). ask God to forgive me and take away my guilt and bitterness, b). to try to stop being so bitter, and c). to try to never laugh at someone’s pain again.
And guess what? One of the best things is since I put this resolution on my blog, YOU can hold me accountable. I’d love it if you’d comment and ask me constantly if I prayed today. I don’t do as much praying as I should, so maybe a reminder would help. 🙂
I’m probably going to listen to Lacey Strum’s song “I’m Not Laughing” tonight A LOT. It’s a great song, check it out.
I hope this post not only helped me, but you as well. If it did, like and comment below and share it!
Thanks for reading!